They say, with an infinite number of monkey, Typewriters and infinite years. Statistically they'd become writers Of the complete works of Shakespeare. So I liberated 15 monkeys From a cage inside Bristol Zoo I used honey smeared on bananas and I lured them to my guest bedroom And I searched and I searched online But couldn't find anywhere that sells An infinite number of typewriters I bought 12. I guess I'm going beyond what you'd ever have guessed yeah When you asked me for a grand romantic gesture HEAR ME NOW I wanna come to your house with a bit of typed paper The proud ringmaster of a trained primate yeah It aint easy this bold little caper The house is a mess and they're shitting on the paper Hey! Babe! I got you a sonnet I got a typewriter and I put a monkey on it You say I'm not involved, don't get me wrong Monkey wrote the sonnet, I wrote the song The songs an extra feature, like a making of It describes his love and what he puts it above Above hygiene Above sanity Above a basic sense of legality Above finance Above going to prison Above understanding examples described as aphorism. I put the monkeys in the room and hope for tippy tappy tippy tappy Feed the monkey food and change their shitty nappy shitty nappy I'm doing this for you. For my love of the ladies Shit, I been bit, hope I aint got rabies

We'd been flirting for a while Exchanging gazes with coquettish smiles It was all quite demure - didn't get out of hand at all Till later when we were in the throws of passion You opened your mouth in a peculiar fashion And that was when I saw your mandibles Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Don't leave me alone Please stay in my home I'll be your drone if you'll be my queen. Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Oh you truly are The prettiest part female Part insect hybrid I ever have seen We can keep the mood romantic You make the wax, I'll bring the wick And candle light, brings out the facets of your eyes I said I loved you and baby I meant it I'm crazy 'bout the way your body's segmented The excitement stays far longer than the initial surprise. Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Don't leave me alone Please stay in my home I'll be your drone if you'll be my queen. Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Oh you truly are The prettiest part female Part insect hybrid I ever have seen Each moment we spend in this perfect heaven Makes me miss my other 10,057 men Can't stay clandestine you must tell your wife One of these days you'll have to leave to join my hive And you will start a brand new life with me Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Don't leave me alone Please stay in my home I'll be your drone if you'll be my queen. Millie. Oh Millie. Oh really. Oh you truly are The prettiest part female Part insect hybrid I ever have seen

He walks through the shadows of Montmartre in the night. His eyes show the darkness his face hides, painted white. He stalks through the courtyards with the young and the bright The drunk absinthe drinkers which he plucks from the night I once stopped to ask him if he had the time But he couldn't reply 'coz he was a mime Stead he took my hand and led me To his hide out. Reached a marble alter in an alleyway Where he tied me tighter than a galley slave With an onyx dagger which he raised He ripped my soul out Oh! Marcel Marceau! Please Let me go! Please don't make me dance in silence I always thought that I would be In charge of my destiny Now it seems there's someone else Who calls the shots for me Now I'm not living I'm not dead Silent music fills my head A sombre and immortal clown now controls the way I tread It seems he pledged a demon A fresh supply of souls In return for the freedom of the torture of hot coals So now he makes us jesters so one day he can leave In agonising silence we dance for his reprieve We can't talk or stop moving, we're tortured and aggrieved Oh! Marcel Marceau! Please Let me go! Please don't make me dance in silence

Carlos was a man from Spain Feared across the Spanish main For acts which collectively Were often termed as piracy He had a pistol and a rapier Which he'd use to separate your Soul from your mortal parts His golden hook would pierce your heart His sails were blood red burgundy He blazed his way across the sea He left his victims burning Tied to sharks or whales or worse... or worse His nemesis was naturally The British aristocracy Who brought their laws unto his home And tried to stop the life he'd honed He left his house in Benidorm They'd built a golf course on his lawn And tanned themselves upon the sand He'd fought and killed and lost his hand. His sails were blood red burgundy He blazed his way across the sea He'll board your yacht and flout your rules And steal your liquor and your jewels Kicked out of his area he went to Somalia But that was when it all hit home this world was not his own at all They smuggled drugs and guns and girls There were no diamonds were no pearls There was no sense of dignity There was no sense of honesty There was no time for wenching floozies Drenched in blood and waving uzis. He remembered his time on the waters Kidnapping governor's daughters Captain of a pirate fleet Honour bound to those he meet Following the pirates code This world was different from his own Of Pirates he had read in books Romanticised with gold and hooks His sails were blood red burgundy He blazed his way across the sea The last hope and defender Of the pirates he remembers