They say, with an infinite number of monkey,
Typewriters and infinite years.
Statistically they'd become writers
Of the complete works of Shakespeare.

So I liberated 15 monkeys
From a cage inside Bristol Zoo
I used honey smeared on bananas
and I lured them to my guest bedroom

And I searched and I searched online
But couldn't find anywhere that sells
An infinite number of typewriters
I bought 12.

I guess I'm going beyond what you'd ever have guessed yeah
When you asked me for a grand romantic gesture

HEAR ME NOW

I wanna come to your house with a bit of typed paper
The proud ringmaster of a trained primate yeah
It aint easy this bold little caper
The house is a mess and they're shitting on the paper

Hey! Babe! I got you a sonnet
I got a typewriter and I put a monkey on it
You say I'm not involved, don't get me wrong
Monkey wrote the sonnet, I wrote the song

The songs an extra feature, like a making of
It describes his love and what he puts it above
Above hygiene
Above sanity
Above a basic sense of legality
Above finance
Above going to prison
Above understanding examples described as aphorism.

I put the monkeys in the room and hope for tippy tappy tippy tappy
Feed the monkey food and change their shitty nappy shitty nappy
I'm doing this for you. For my love of the ladies
Shit, I been bit, hope I aint got rabies